Oakdale’s Daniel Rude Honored for Work on Behalf of Caregivers

The lives of Oakdale resident Daniel Rude, and his wife Jean were forever changed in 2002 when she was diagnosed with multiple sclerosis. Daniel’s steadfast support and commitment to Jean led him to to volunteer with the Minnesota Chapter of the Multiple Sclerosis Society. In January, Daniel Rude won an Activist Volunteer All Stars award in appreciation of his efforts to raise awareness of the role of care partners. Oakdale Patch spoke with with Rude, to learn more about his contributions to this cause that is so close to his heart.

Oakdale Patch: Tell me about the volunteer work that led to your all stars award.

Daniel Rude: Shortly after Jean was diagnosed, one of the first things she did was contact the MS Society Minnesota Chapter to find out what resources were available. One of the initial pieces of information they sent was about a couple’s support group; Like most care partners at that point in time, I had no idea what my involvement was going to be. We started attending those meetings, and eventually, Jean and I took over as facilitators. This led to my receiving the Care Partner of the Year Award in 2010 from the Minnesota Chapter. As a result of that, I was asked to join the staff at the 2010 Public Policy Conference in Washington, DC, which led to the Activist Volunteer All Stars award.

Oakdale Patch: What was your experience in Washington like?

Rude: Essentially, that was an opportunity to meet with people involved with the MS activism movement, and to visit our congressional delegation. There were several pieces of legislation that were being considered, and we met with the staffers to express our views and ask the members of congress and the senators for their support. My role was to tell my story as a caregiver. That was tremendously helpful, not only for the conversations I had with members of the congressional delegation, but also for clarifying in my own mind what exactly I was doing.

Oakdale Patch: What are some of the things you do as a care partner?

Rude: Anybody who is a caregiver will recognize as diseases progress, their responsibilities to their individual they are caring for will also grow. For example, I was not a very good cook. But as Jean became increasingly disabled, the small things became difficult like her fine motor skills and stamina—just standing at the counter preparing a meal became unrealistic. Those responsibilities starting heading my direction, as did many of the other household chores. Jean’s disability makes it almost impossible for her to do things like take out the garbage or clean up a spill, and those things tend to fall in my direction almost constantly now.

Oakdale Patch: I am sure it is not just the physical struggles you face, but the emotional ones as well.

Rude: The emotional side of it is a really big deal. When a person loses their mobility, they lose much of their freedom. Jean just recently decided not to drive anymore—the threat to herself and to others was just too great—so she has this feeling of loss. One of the hidden symptoms of MS is depression, and that is a constant piece, not just for Jean but also for myself. You feel like there is just too much to do, it’s overwhelming. And my responsibility to myself has been to find time to take a break—what we refer to as a “respite.” Basically, this is a 24/7 responsibility, in order to do this for long term, you have to be able to take care of yourself both physically and emotionally.

Oakdale Patch: How do you take care of yourself?

Rude: I take time for myself some evenings, go do things with friends, or simply read or listen to music in my home office. But still, there is always the thought in the back of my mind, “I wonder if everything is OK?” Usually one of my two daughters are home with Jean while I am gone, so I don’t have to worry about her feeling lonely or and isolated, but also so someone is there if she needs assistance.

Oakdale Patch: What’s your best advice for other care partners?

Rude: Find a way to take care of yourself. Early on, when you become a caregiver, especially for your partner, it doesn’t seem like there is that much involved until you step back and take a day away and feel the way it feels without that responsibility in your life. Then it becomes clear how much you are investing. Take some time and do something you want to do. Giving yourself permission to do that is really important.